Most people believe that after marriage it is likely that you may begin to lose some friends, especially those who are still single. To some extent, this can be true and it most often comes into play when both partners exchange vows. However, in this article, I’m going to share with you some helpful tips for maintaining friendships after getting married and having kids.
I might not be the best marriage counselor but trust me these tips can ensure you don’t keep losing longtime friendships because of your married life. In other words, if this seems like what you are interested to learn more about make sure to read through this article to the end to discover more information. You can also share this post with someone you know who is married.
Let’s get started!
6 Tips for Maintaining Friendships After Getting Married and Having Kids
Balancing friendships with family life can be tricky for so many people, but it’s definitely possible. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
1. Schedule Time for Your Friends
One better way to maintain healthy friendships after getting married is to schedule specific times for your friends. It could be just a quick coffee date or a quick phone call, making time for your friends is important and it goes as far as telling them how much of a friend you are and how much you care.
Just the same way you would love your friends to check up on you, you should learn to do the same to them. Your married life shouldn’t hinder you from doing the things you once used to do to your friends before you got married. It doesn’t cost a dime to be a bit kinder now that you are married and have started having kids.
2. Get Creative with Your Time
Maybe you can’t go out for a night on the town anymore, but you can still have fun with friends by inviting them over for dinner or going on a family-friendly outing. You can come up with anything you know they would like to engage in with you; it could be to play outdoor games, go swimming or get involved in any exciting activity.
You can achieve this by striking up a conversation about some places you like to go, maybe a restaurant or even the cinemas like “Hey, did you hear ______ was coming out in theaters?” and they will be interested and say “Maybe we should go together, go see the movie some time.” You can do the same for the restaurant.
Like “Oh I love that place.” “We should get to eat there sometime.” “Would you like to come along?” This way, you’re just sounding interested and trying to get them to know you want them along with you. You’re not being pushy or anything, you’re just finding ways to hang out and build strong bonds together.
3. Make Your Friendships a Priority
We all do need friends. No man is an island hence it is very important that you make your friendships a priority instead of keeping them aside. It’s easy to let friendships fall by the wayside when you’re busy with family life. As I earlier said, most people begin to lose friends as soon as they get married and this is true.
Somehow, making your friendships a priority still boils down to scheduling quality times with the people you call your friends. Yes, it can be quite difficult to maintain family life with friendship but nevertheless, you still need to carve out some space for them. I figured out that the best way to sustain friendships is to invest in them.
After marriage, your friends shouldn’t be seen as competitors. Instead choose to spend time with your friends, even when you’re busy with other things. Investing in these relationships will help you feel more connected and fulfilled in the long run. You can do this by making yourself available whenever the need be.
4. Keep in Touch Via Social Media
We are in an era where you can get in touch with anyone whether they are close by or abroad. You would like to know that a quick like or comment on a friend’s post can go a long way in letting them know you’re still thinking of them. It mustn’t be all about calls all the time —but you can still include that anyway.
Social media makes it easier to keep in touch with relatives, family, old schoolmates, friends, colleagues and lots more from the comfort of your home. All you need to do is follow them on their social media pages and you can get notified whenever they make a new post that way you can still interact with them virtually.
You could even raise the stakes by using platforms like Zoom, Google Meet or even facetime them on WhatsApp. That way you don’t have to consider distance as a barrier for not communicating with your friends. Social media is indeed a blessing in disguise and with it we all can make our friendships more effective.
5. Take Advantage of Babysitters
Schedule some time to see friends while your kids are being cared for by a trusted babysitter. It is not a crime, it is called friendship for a reason. Without a doubt, taking advantage of babysitters could be a great way to make time for your friends while still meeting your family obligations. How does that sound? Certainly cool right?
Whether it’s a trusted family member, a nanny, or a babysitting service, having someone you trust look after your kids will give you the opportunity to go out for dinner, see a movie, or just hang out with your friends. This way, you can enjoy some much-needed adult time while knowing your kids are being well cared for.
6. Make it a Family Affair
Invite friends and their kids over for a playdate so everyone can spend time together. It mustn’t always be about you all the time. Sometimes, a little bit of fun, get together, and playtime can fix a lot. For your already married friends, get to know their wives and kid(s) if they have a family already and let them do the same.
For your single friends, welcome them in as well. Do not keep them off as though you are protecting a territory but understand that there should be a boundary between your family life and friendships. This way, you wouldn’t cut off important relationships that took you several years to establish just because you are married.
However, if there is anything you can do to protect your family that should be to cut off negative influences and by that I mean friends that do not add anything meaningful to your life, career or business. Only bring those who are worth it so you don’t harbor a sheep in wolf clothing all in the name of friendship!
How can Someone Maintain Friendships with Single Friends After Getting Married?
The answer to this question is simple and at the same time pretty straightforward. To maintain friendships with single friends after getting married you just have to treat them the same way as before getting married. Do all the things you used to do to them before your married life came into the big picture.
This may include calling them, meeting up for drinks/dinner/cinema, inviting them over to your house to eat with you and your partner and lots more. People don’t stop being your friend just because they’re single and you’re not. Life is in phases and trust me your friends will understand when you get married.
Can Married People Make Friends
Married people can make friends. It’s high time people understand that friendship is not limited by marital status and you can have meaningful and supportive friendships with individuals who are both single and married. However, understand that friendships can be strained when people are in different “stages” of their lives.
By that I mean to say, major life events or phases, like going away to college, getting married, having kids, traveling to a different region/country can be all-encompassing for the person going through them. So it can be difficult to maintain or sustain friendships with people who aren’t going through the same things as you.
However, that’s not to say it’s not possible or worthwhile to have friends doing vastly different things as a married person.
Maintaining friendships after getting married and having kids takes some effort, but it’s worth it. By doing little things that seem insignificant like taking advantage of babysitters, scheduling regular time for friends, and making your friendships a priority, you can stay connected to the people who matter most in your life.
Building strong bonds with your friends starts by being intentional about their existence in your life. Your friends are there to support you through the ups and downs of life, and investing in these relationships will help you feel more fulfilled.