RELATIONSHIP Godwin Albert June 13, 2024 0 Comments

Dating Tips for Introverts – The Guide You Need to Read

While there are several dating tips for introverts scattered all over the internet, I have been able to put together my own experience in words to ensure your date would love you more. If you are an introvert finding a tough time planning fresh ways to charm your own date, then you’re in the right place.

Personally, the guidelines here have helped me to be good at dating despite being an introvert. So, I hope you too can score well using the ideas I will be sharing in a bit. With that in mind, let’s get started with the business for today, shall we?

9 Easy Peasy Dating Tips for Introverts

When you’re an introvert who doesn’t do well with meeting people for the first time, dates can seem to be panic-inducing and a hell of stress. While there’s no magic to take away your introversion at least, there are things you can do to be confident when it comes to first dates.

1. Make No Drastic Changes

Should you decide that you want some new shoes or even a new outfit for your date, go for it. But don’t make big changes. Don’t buy a pair of shoes or an outfit that doesn’t fit your personality. In everything you do as you plan for your first date as an introvert, learn to be ‘YOU.’

Here’s the catch about such changes: You will spend the date being very self-conscious because you are not used to such a change. You haven’t had your own time to get comfortable with it, and now here you are on a date. The aim is to increase your comfort level, and dressing with what you are already comfortable with.

2. Pick a Dating Event That’s Short

Meeting for a drink or coffee or attending some short event is usually the best for an introvert. There is comfort in knowing that it will be short up front, and you will have far less dread or stress. And, if things go well, that short chunk of time can always be extended into dinner or something else.

It’s much easier to approach the date this way than to plan a long evening, and then try to cut it short. This is good advice for all first dates with strangers, so don’t feel that you are any different because other introverts like you will likely do the same.

3. Choose a Place or Event You Know

Going somewhere new can add to your discomfort and even double your tension. You won’t know your way around and you’ll be distracted trying to familiarize yourself with the place. If this is a short first date, choose a coffee shop, a simple restaurant, or a small bar you already know.

You will be familiar with the table arrangements, the location and parking, the menu, and the people who will be attending to you. All of these things will let you focus on the person you are with and not lose your composure.

4. Pick an Activity You Enjoy

If sitting face to face with a stranger and making conversation is awkward for you, why not choose a date on which you will be actively doing something? Weather permitting, you could go to the zoo or botanical garden; you could go to a wine or food tasting event or a street fest.

How about a bar that has air hockey if you’re good at it? Being involved in an activity gives you more to talk about, and it allows you to “be you.” It can also save you from the embarrassment of displaying shyness when you talk to your date.

5. Practice a Bit

When job candidates go for interviews, they often practice answering the likely questions with a friend. A first date is a bit like an interview, let’s face it. Get a friend to sit down with you and ask you some likely questions.

Practice both your verbal and non-verbal responses, including facial expressions and other gestures until they seem natural. Then, turn the tables. You come up with questions to ask your date, then practice being an active good listener as well. That way, it won’t even look like you’re a first-timer even if it’s your first ever date.

6. Ask Open-Ended Questions

If you have practiced with that friend, you have questions to which there are longer answers than just “yes” or “no.” Ask them, and practice those listening skills with eye contact, head nods, and smiles (and laughs if they are genuinely funny).

You want that individual to know you have a genuine interest in others and in him/her specifically. Plus, how else do you get to know someone if you don’t ask questions that allow them to open up and show you who they are?

Instead of asking them what they do for a living, ask them what they like best and least about their job. Just don’t keep firing those questions out of nervousness. You won’t let your date feel like it is an interrogation.

And if you have practiced the likely questions you will be asked, you will know what to share or not. Oversharing on a first date can be a bit awkward for the other person. Giving all of the details of your last breakup is oversharing— so save it.

7. You Don’t Need to Hide Your Introversion

You may be able to “fake” an outgoingness for a short period—especially if you have practiced this before—but you are only doing that to make what you think will be a good first impression.

If this first date turns into a second one, however, and s/he wants to take you to a large social event, your secret will be out. You don’t have to blurt out that you are an introvert, but as you talk about your interests and hobbies, that aspect of your personality will likely come out.

8. Plan Your “Escape” in Advance

If you’re seeing all sorts of red flags, take note. Here are just a couple:

Your date’s talk is all negative about other people—last relationship, boss, co-workers, etc. This is not a good sign.
Your date treats a waiter or waitress badly and/or loses his/her temper when something isn’t cooked just right—this isn’t a kind person.
Your date is a narcissist and can only talk about him/herself, never asking you a question

An extrovert in this situation might very well be a bit confrontational and announce that the date is over. Introverts tend to bite their tongues and endure the pain for the time being. You don’t have to do this. Set up your excuses ahead of time.

Have a friend text you about an hour in and have a signal to text back. Then the phone call can come that presents a situation that requires your immediate attention. Or start feeling poorly and go to the restroom. When you return, explain that you are ill and need to go

A fake excuse, mind you, should be used as a last resort; if and whenever possible, it’s best to be honest about things. You can bow out of the date with a simple “I’m sorry to do this, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed with things and would prefer to go home.”

In preparation for this moment, it’s a good idea to drive separately to your date, as well. No need for an awkward car ride home.

9. Don’t Ruminate

Introverts have amazing memories—detailed memories—because they take everything in. This is both a blessing and a curse. At work, it is often a blessing because introverts observe and listen before drawing conclusions and often come up with good creative solutions.

After a date, it can be a curse. Introverts tend to relive every single moment, kicking themselves because they said something stupid or because their awkwardness/anxiety was showing. Give yourself a break.

You are exaggerating and focusing on your perceived “bad” rather than on the many good things that probably happened. Focus on the positives of the date and what went well instead. This gives you confidence for a second date or to move on to someone else.

Wrap Up

As an introvert, dating shouldn’t be a scary adventure, but rather a fun and exciting experience. It should be an opportunity to connect with the outside world. However, by following these healthy dating tips, you can gain confidence and find meaningful relationships out there.

You just need to be yourself, take things at your own pace and never shy off from your introverted nature. I hope this helps. Did you enjoy the article? If yes, kindly follow us for more relationship and parenting tips and please do well to share with your friends and family. And until next time, bye!