20 Red Flags to Watch Out for When Starting a New Relationship

12 Min Read

Before starting a relationship with someone it is believed that you must have been friends with the person. Being friends at first can give you a sneak peek into their backgrounds, and make you understand better who they are, what they can do, what they like, and what they don’t. 

Yes, humans can change and are liable to make mistakes, but you should observe certain repeated red flags to be sure you are not in a relationship with the wrong person. Starting a relationship can be quite daunting especially if you don’t know the person too deeply.  

I understand that we all want someone we find compatible and fits our personalities and that is why I have written this article to enlighten you on the red flags you should watch out for when starting a new relationship. Without much ado, let’s get started with what we have for today! 

20 Red Flags to Watch Out for When Starting a New Relationship 

Here are 20 red flags to watch out for when starting a new relationship: 

1. They Have a Narcissistic Attitude 

A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for constant admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. If this describes the person you want to start a relationship with then you better have a change of mind to be on the right path.  

Such a person is no good to you and the best you can do for yourself is to stay away or better still, look for other people who match your personality. If you can’t hold a normal conversation with them without feeling uneasy and creeped out, that’s a major red flag.

2. They Don’t Apologise 

Whether it is the person you call your best friend, the girl of your dreams, or the man that makes you shiver if they won’t apologize when they make mistakes then they are not worth being in a relationship with you.  

It doesn’t matter how little the mistake is everyone should be responsible for their actions and say “Sorry” when they need to. If you have ever come across people who make major mistakes and simply avoid you later you will understand better how painful it can be. However, the best way out is to stay away from such people.  

3. They are Egocentric 

Ego-centric people make the worst partners and friends. If their pride is larger than the love they have for you, in no time you too will start calculating your love and share the same toxic traits as them. No one wants this for themselves hence, you must learn to choose your friends and not let your friends choose you.  

4. They Don’t Appreciate You No Matter How Hard You Try 

Someone who doesn’t appreciate your skills or talents shouldn’t be in a relationship with you. It doesn’t matter how much you love them as long as they don’t value your worth and can’t appreciate you for who you are and what you do then you most certainly need to stay away from them. When you don’t share common interests and are not appreciated well enough by others, you will soon lose interest.

5. They Don’t Consider Your Opinion

When you don’t make it on almost top of their priority list then it is a major red flag you shouldn’t ignore. Assuming you are dating a guy that places his friends’ opinions higher than yours, then you should know that you are in the danger zone. Such a person would never rate you and you wouldn’t have a place in his heart.  

6. They Don’t Respect Your Preferences 

If they coerce you to do something you’re not comfortable with just because they feel they can manipulate you or if they dismiss your opinions or feelings for theirs, that’s a sign that they don’t care about your needs or wants. Your partner or friend should respect your preferences and also accept your opinions. However, if there is no acceptance in the relationship then it is one-sided. 

7. They are Secretive About Many Things 

If they lie or hide most things from you then you don’t need anybody to tell you that such a relationship isn’t meant for you. If they are dishonest or secretive about their past, their current situation, or their intentions, that’s a sign that they don’t trust you with information and do not value the relationship. Don’t try to force yourself on them when you can walk away and get peace elsewhere with someone who cares.  

8. They are Rude or Abusive to Others

Do they treat people with disdain? Are they rude and abusive to others? If they possess these traits that’s a typical sign that they lack compassion and empathy for others and are likely going to treat you the same way.  Meanwhile, first observe their relationships with other people such as their family, friends, co-workers, or strangers before jumping to conclusions.  

9. They Have Unhealthy Habits or Behaviors 

If they are drug addicts, drink too much alcohol, love gambling, or have other addictions they battle with that’s a sign that they have personal issues that they need to address in their lives. They might also drag you down with them or expect you to fix them and trust me, you don’t want to get yourself into such a serious task.  

10. They Never Texts or Calls You First 

If you’re always the one initiating contact, that’s a bad sign. It means they are not that interested in you or they are keeping you as a backup option. Someone who likes you will want to talk to you and show you that they care about your persona and welfare. That said, if there are no traces of this in the relationship then you should better look for someone else who can engage you in communication through texts and calls. 

11. They are Unstable with Plans or Cancel at the Last Minute 

This is another sign of low interest or disrespect. Whether it is your boyfriend or girlfriend if they can’t commit to spending quality time with you and bails on you without a good reason, it means that they do not take you seriously. If your girlfriend has this attribute then She might have other guys on the line or she might just be too immature to handle a relationship.

12. They Talk About their exes a Lot 

This is a red flag for two reasons: one, it means they are not over their past relationships and they might still have feelings for them; and two, it means they may be comparing you to them and you might not measure up. A girl/boy who is ready for a new relationship will focus on the present and the future, not the past.

13. They are Needy or Clingy 

There’s a difference between wanting to spend time with someone and being obsessed with someone. If they are too needy or clingy, it means only one thing and that is they are insecure and dependent on you for their happiness. Some girls are like this and most times it turns out that she might also be controlling and jealous and try to isolate you from your friends and family.

14. They Have No Goals or Ambitions 

Someone who has no goals or ambitions is not attractive or inspiring. It means they have no vision, passion, or purpose in life and they might end up dragging you down with them. Your friend(s) or partner must have goals and ambitions not only for the now but for the future that way the relationship will remain attractive and inspiring because it shows that they have a vision and a drive for the future.

15. They Have a Lot of Drama in Their Life 

A girl who has a lot of drama in her life is not fun or relaxing to be around. It means she has a lot of problems and conflicts with other people and she might involve you in them. A girl who has a lot of drama in her life is also unstable and unpredictable and might cause drama in your relationship.

16. They Don’t Make You Happy 

This is the most important red flag of all. If your girlfriend or boyfriend doesn’t make you happy, then what’s the point of dating her? A girl who makes you happy is the best match for you because it means she loves you, cares for you, respects you, supports you, and makes you feel good about yourself.

Other Typical Red Flags to Watch Out for When Starting a New Relationship 

Here are some other typical red flags to watch out for when starting a new relationship: 

  • Their sex drive is much higher or lower than yours.
  • They call you names in arguments.
  • They are unwilling to take an interest in anything you take interest in.
  • They demand to know your social media account passwords or demand to go through your phone.

Wrap Up 

No relationship is perfect Remember, no relationship is perfect, and people can display occasional flaws or make mistakes. The earlier you know this the better for you however, noticing consistent or severe red flags can save you a lot of stress and headaches that come with fake and abusive relationships.  


Trust your instincts, set boundaries, and prioritize your emotional well-being when evaluating the healthiness of a dating relationship. However, I strongly recommend you read the book, The Secret to Attracting the Woman of Your Dreams and Creating a Fulfilling Relationship by Thomas Angelo. It is available on Amazon.

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